DJ’s portrait sessions are frustrating and exhausting, because he has ZERO interest in having his picture taken, and I have to beg and plead and coax to get him to cooperate. I spend the entire photo session trying to wrestle him back onto the red dot, or jumping around making goofy faces and fart noises, in a desperate attempt to get him to smile. But sometimes his stubborn resistance results in pretty great photos, such as the one where he’s scowling at the camera, which is my favorite of the whole bunch

In his sermons, whenever he’s about to make an important point that he really wants us to remember, our pastor always says this. It’s kind of like a wake-up call, to let us know that if we’re spacing out, it’s time to sit up and pay attention.

“Don’t miss this….”

In the last month or so, I’ve had a bit of a real life wake-up call. As I slogged through my days, feeling tired and cranky, tense and resentful, God was opening my eyes to the fact that I was missing something pretty important.

My life.

In the 4 years that I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve always tried to be completely honest and transparent with you. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I struggle to achieve balance and moderation in all things, just as I suspect most of you do. But there is one area where I try, and try, and consistently fail, and that’s in limiting the time I spend online. As a blogger, this can be difficult, because obviously my work is online. I need to moderate comments, respond to emails, research post material, and that’s fine….except it never stops there. The internet is too full of distractions, and it’s so easy to say, “Oh, I’ll just check Facebook for a couple of minutes,” or “I’ll just check this message board and see if there are any new posts.” Then there’s Pinterest, and blogs, and countless little dramas to get caught up in. You can live a whole other life online, but the problem is that you have to sacrifice your real one.

One night last week, the time I was squandering was troubling me so much that I couldn’t sleep. My tossing and turning was even keeping my husband awake, and finally he asked what was wrong. I promptly started bawling, and told him emphatically, in between sniffles, that I could not live one more day like this. I confessed that I felt like such an unbelievable failure, at everything. My house wasn’t as clean or organized as it could be, should be, and used to be.  I was always short, snappish, and distracted with my children, and I too often felt resentful of their constant interruptions when I was “busy” online. More than anything, I was frustrated with what I perceived to be my lack of “success” as a blogger, and I think, subconsciously, I had convinced myself that if only I had privacy, and quiet, and more time to write, I could really “make it.” I could make connections with important people, promote myself more, and get a blog-to-book contract like all those other bloggers I keep hearing about. I could really live my dream.

Unfortunately, I’d lost sight of my real dream in life – to be at home with my children, the precious babies I prayed and sacrificed for, and suffered to bring into the world. I guess, in a misguided attempt to make my mark and leave some sort of “legacy,” I’d forgotten about my 3 living legacies. Raising them right is the most important and valuable contribution I can make in the world, and I’ve only got one chance. If I screw it up, I won’t get a do over.

When Bee was a baby, a sweet, elderly lady took me aside after church one day and told me how much she enjoyed sitting near us during services, because it warmed her heart to watch me smile at my baby, and speak softly to her, and stroke her peach-fuzz hair. She put her hand on my arm, and said,  “Anyone can see how much you love her.” I was moved to tears by her words, because that’s the kind of mother I always wanted to be. Gentle. Loving. Engaged. Present.

When I look honestly at myself, I can see that I haven’t been that kind of mother in quite a long time. I’m ashamed to admit that instead, I’ve been a mother who shoos her children away because she’s “busy” online, or distractedly says, “Mmmmm….” or “That’s nice,” instead of really listening when they try to tell me something. I’ve become a mother who yells too much, and is too often frustrated or annoyed because my children are interrupting my online life. I can see that little by little, I’ve been withdrawing from my actual life. I’ve been here, but not really HERE.

But no more.

The very next morning, after my mini-breakdown, I banished the computer to the farthest corner of the basement, and took back my real life. I reclaimed this space in my kitchen.

I took a nap.
I met Bee at the door when she got home from school.
I played with my kids.

I was here. I was really here…because the computer wasn’t.

It’s difficult and inconvenient to use the computer now. I can’t easily pop online for “just 5 minutes,” which will then suck up an hour of my day. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that with it gone, I feel like I can breathe again. I have more energy, I’m less distracted, and I feel calmer, and just…. happier. I don’t have a phone with online capabilities, or a laptop, or an iPad, so this computer is my only gateway to the internet, and most of the time it sits, dark and rejected, while in its absence, the rest of my life lights up.

I plan to reduce my blog posts to only 2 a week, and I no longer read message boards or blogs. I basically just check my email, quickly scan Facebook, and then shut down. I know that this might bother some people, and I’m sorry….but I have to do this. I have to be the mother my children deserve. I want them to remember that I smiled, laughed, and played with them, and that I was happy to be at home with them, because I am. I’m not saying that I’ll never blog full-time again, but right now I just can’t. When my children go to school, I’ll have plenty of time to work, but until then, I don’t want them to feel like I pushed them aside so I could achieve “my dreams.”

I want them to know that they are my dream.

When Bee saw that my computer was gone, she said, “But Mom….when I come home from school, you’re usually right there on the computer. Where will I find you now?”

My heart broke a little bit, because I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time my daughter came home and saw my face, and not my backside because I was staring at the damn computer screen. So I looked her in the eye, and I told her….

“Don’t miss this… I’ll be right here.”

For real.

With the exception of a frame for our old mirror, our bathroom remodeling project is finished! I plan to write a more detailed cost breakdown, but I need to gather up all of my receipts and itemize them. Just off the top of my head, I estimate that this entire project, for which we did all the work ourselves, cost approximately $700. This includes the following:

Sink and counter top
Toilet
Shower surround
Tub refinishing kits
Detachable shower head and drain kit
Faucets
Miscellaneous plumbing supplies
Hinges, doorknobs, and cabinet hardware
Paint, caulk, and cleaning products
Light fixture
Shower curtain and rings
Bathmat and towels

First, to refresh your memory, this is what the bathroom looked like when we bought our house in 2004.

It’s kind of hard to see in this photo, but the floor was carpeted (why? WHY do people carpet bathrooms? I will never understand this). After we moved in, we tore the carpet out, and replaced it with laminate tile, but I didn’t include this in my estimated cost, simply because it was so long ago that I have no recollection of how much it cost, and I would have to dig through my record boxes in the shop to find out (which I have less than ZERO interest in doing). I also took down the wallpaper border, but that was the extent of our work in this room, because we felt that other rooms were of higher priority.

Here’s a close-up of the…ahem….lovely 70s vanity, and swirly pink countertop.

And isn’t this sink so pretty? It was so worn that it was impossible to clean, and I just hated it.

This was our tub. Oh, the pink, pink, and even more friggin’ PINK. And no shower…a major drawback, in my opinion.

After living with this for 7 1/2 years, I can’t even adequately describe how completely thrilled I am that our bathroom is no longer the color of something you drink when you have indigestion. Because now we have this!

Since this is the kids' bathroom, I let the girls pick the new shower curtain and bath mat, and I have to say....I really LOVE their bright and cheerful choices.

Our beautiful new (old) tub, with shower, courtesy of my skilled (and foxy) husband.

Could these shower curtain rings be cuter? I think not.

We gave new life to our old, ugly vanity with paint and new hardware. As I'm fond of saying, paint makes all things new.

We painted the doors and trim white (the trim pieces leaning in the corner are for the mirror frame), and we chose a dark counter top with subtle splashes of blue for contrast, since the vanity, floor, toilet, and tub are also white.

I found 2 of these at a consignment store, and 1 at Goodwill, and I painted all the mismatched frames black to unify the arrangement. I think they're so cute!

The cabinet above the toilet was a garage sale freebie that we updated with paint, and new hardware.

I love these pictures! I think they're perfect for a kids' bathroom.

I’m so, SO happy to have this done! This bathroom used to make me cringe – I always felt like I needed to apologize for its ugliness – but now I smile whenever I walk by and see all the colorful cuteness!

Up next…renovating the basement into bedrooms for the girls. However, I think we’re going to just bask in the glow of a job well done for a few weeks!

If you would like to share your frugal, simple life story, please send it to me at wantwhatyouhaveblog at gmail dot com. Thanks so much for sharing, Sasha!

Hi there, I read that you want to know the stories of your followers, here’s mine.

Just yesterday I was saying to my husband that I want a more simple life and he told me that I’m nothing but simple, “you are a little complicated,” that was what he says. I think that every woman are a bit complicated, specially when you are a mother, because you have a lot of responsability, well.

Here’s the story:

1995-1999 We (my husband and I) meet in college
2000 we start our relationship
2003 we got married
2006 we decided to have kids, we tried but nothing happened
2007 lost two pregnancies at early stages

We are both Christians and because of that we knew that God will listen our prayers and after losing two pregnancies, on Christmas 2007 God give us another pregnancy, this one was different because we have a chance to maintain this baby through a hormonal treatment. My body was not producing enough progesterone to keep the baby in the uterus, so for the first trimester I had progesterone injections everyday, and progesterone capsules. Meanwhile, I have a tremendous job as a marketing specialist, which by the way is my major, in a great company, with a great income. At approximately 19 weeks of my pregnancy I get laid off of my incredible job because of a reorganization, they eliminate the division were I was working, I wasn’t the only one, it was a massive lay off, they give us a good compensation that help me to live until I gave birth.

One of things I have always said to my husband was that I want to stay at home with the babies when the time comes, and I pray for that, but we were not prepared to do it. My plan was to continue with my job and send the baby to daycare, but God plans were other, my prayer was heard, losing my job was a thing I never see it coming. We decided then, that when the baby have the two months, I will start working from home as a Real State Professional, because I have a license and education for, but I have to give up my great income because now we have to live with just one check. My main concern was my baby, I want to give him the best, I don’t want anybody to take my place, I want to be with him in every moment at least until he have to go to school. I pray for guidance and remember a precious verse on the Bible about how God will provide:

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:25-34 NKJV)

On 2008, we have our first baby boy, CJ, and then on 2010 our second baby boy, André. From the moment we decided to put our family first with God as the base, I can tell you we have never been in necessity, we need what we have, nothing less, nothing more. Before we have kids, we have separate accounts and each one was responsible for their own debts and some of the utilities, now we work as a team with a budget and my husband is a very good administrator, that’s a thing I have to improve. We have a house from a heritage that we don’t have to pay mortgage, just the utilities, and we are in the process of paying off all the debts. I’m working from home and in my home, I’m better in the kitchen, and learning everyday how to make our lives more simple, although, sometimes I feel I’m going crazy, but then I read Heather’s Blog and I know I’m not the only one. Now we are enjoying the stages of our little boys, and that just make us really happy, to be there and see everything, that is what we want.

Sasha

I think you’re all familiar with mine, but in case you’re not, here are the highlights:

2000 – Minimalist girl falls crazy in love with very cute pack rat guy.
Pack rat guy has a whole lot of stuff, and all the debt that comes with it. They begin the long, arduous process of paring down.
2001-2002 – Minimalist girl and pack rat guy get married and have a baby.
Life is still too crazy. Everyone is miserable.
2003 – Minimalist girl meets Jesus, and introduces Him to pack rat guy.
They decide there’s more to life than the care and maintenance of stuff.
2004 – They fully embrace the frugal, simple life, and sell pretty much everything that isn’t nailed down.
2007 – They pay off their home mortgage and become 100% debt free.
2008 – Minimalist girl starts writing a blog about how much happier their life is now that they’ve figured out what’s really important.

That’s pretty much the gist, but you can read more here.

And now, I’d like to hear your story! Are you embracing the simple, frugal life? Are you working toward debt freedom? How, and why? If you’d like to share your frugal, simple life story, write it down and email it to me at wantwhatyouhaveblog at gmail dot com. I’ll feature one reader every Friday, and if you have a blog, I’ll give you a link-back, as well as this badge for your sidebar.

I’m so excited to read all of your stories!

Happy May Day!

When last I left you, I was busy cleaning up the terrible mess DJ made with a tube of butt cream, and that’s an experience I would rather not repeat. I wasn’t successful at completely removing it from the carpet, even after scrubbing with Dawn, and steam cleaning it. So… DJ is on my list right now.

It's hard to get TOO mad at him when he's this cute.

And what else is new around here?

-eBay. We’ve been running a lot of auctions in the last couple of weeks, and have made nearly $800. Which is nice, except we also had to pack and ship 30 items, including a set of wheel covers to Western Australia. We will not be doing this again, because I spent an hour and 15 minutes at the post office, filling out various necessary forms, while the clerk asked me all manner of weird questions, such as, “Can you verify that these parts are free of live mosquito eggs?”

-The bathtub. It’s finally done!

The epoxy needs to cure for 3 days before the plumbing can be installed.

My husband used a fine nap foam roller this time, instead of a brush, and the result was so much better. He put the first coat of epoxy on right before we left for church on Sunday morning. When we came home he gave it another coat, and we went out to lunch. After lunch, he applied the final coat, and to pass the time while it dried, we took the kids to an art show at the local college.

There were free cookies, bars, fruit, lemonade, and other refreshments offered (DJ’s favorite part), and Bee was able to ask one of the artists some questions about his work. One of the advantages of living in a college town is the readily available selection of music performances, plays, art shows, dance demonstrations, and other free entertainment.

Cakes was alarmed by these clay masks.

Cakes, our budding artist, was especially enthralled by the college’s huge art studio.

She loves drawing the most, but lately she’s been experimenting with new mediums.

-Cleaning and organizing. This is an ongoing, neverending project. Last week I cleaned out some kitchen cabinets, and yesterday I steam-cleaned the area rug in our living room. I’ve also been working, little by little, on the semi-annual clothing purge, because Cakes is outgrowing her size 5′s, so I need to weed those out, and move in the size 6 clothing I’ve saved for her. DJ is also outgrowing all of his 24-month clothing, but since he’s my only boy, I don’t have a ready supply of hand-me-downs for him to grow into. Aside from a few 3T shirts, handed down from a friend, his wardrobe is pretty sparse, so I really need to hit some garage sales! I haven’t made it to a single one yet, because our weekends have been consumed by this bathroom remodeling project. Fortunately, once the tub plumbing is installed, we only need to finish up odds and ends – caulking, the mirror frame, hanging the shower curtain, etc. Hopefully then, I can get some clothes for The Boy, so he doesn’t have to go naked (not that he would mind).

-In the kitchen: I’ve been making a lot of recipes to use up seasonal produce that I’ve gotten great deals on, such as delicious stuffed peppers for supper last night.

We’ve also been making an old favorite – crepes.

I’d never had crepes until I met my husband. He used to make them for me for Sunday breakfast, but this tradition fell away after we had kids. We started making them again after Bee went to a slumber party, and her friend’s Mom made them for breakfast. Bee came home and said, “We had these really good things called crepes. Can you make those some time, Mom?” And I was like, “Hmmm….actually, I CAN.” They’re very easy – no more difficult than pancakes, really – and they’re so versatile. My husband likes them with fruit, or cream cheese and sausage, Bee likes chocolate chips and whipped cream, Cakes likes apricot preserves and powdered sugar, and I like Nutella and bananas – a combination I nicked from IHOP.

I’ve also been making raspberries stuffed with white chocolate chips for treats – such a quick and simple idea, but so GOOD – and I modified a “power bar” recipe that I tore out of our health insurance company’s monthly magazine.

I forgot to take a picture of these before my family snarfed down the entire pan, so credit for this photo goes to Wellmark.com (used with permission).

These were a BIG hit in our house. If you’d like to try them, here’s Wellmark’s original recipe, with my money-saving modifications in parentheses:

INGREDIENTS
2 cups quick oats (I subbed 1 cup Rice Krispies for 1 cup oats, because I had some that needed to be used up, and they were a wonderful addition)
1 cup natural peanut butter (creamy or chunky – I use Skippy Natural)
1 cup honey
1 cup dark chocolate chips (I used semi-sweet)
1 cup dried cranberries (I’ve made these with both cranberries and raisins – both are excellent)
1 cup ground flax
1 cup vanilla whey protein powder

DIRECTIONS
Mix all ingredients together and stir until blended. Spread mixture into a 13×10-inch pan (??? I used 13×9, and I suspect this is what most people have) and refrigerate until ready to serve. Store in the refrigerator for 1 to 2 weeks or freeze for later use.

-Miscellaneous fun. On Saturday, we attended a surprise 70th birthday party for my aunt, and the children had a rare opportunity to spend time with their cousins.

DJ was completely enamored with his sweet cousin, Claire, who played with him the entire afternoon.

I love this completely adoring look he's giving her.

Also, a couple weeks ago I took the girls to see Mirror Mirror (which I can’t recommend. It was just OK), and we snapped this self-portrait.

Cakie's enormous, cheesy grin just cracks me up!

I love having kids. I have so much fun with them.

But I failed to plan for what I’ve termed “unexpected events.” Such as a 2-year-old boy who decides to eat a tube of Desitin,

AND smear it all over the furniture and the carpet in his room.

He also squeezed it into his ear…it took several Q-tips to clean it all out.

At least he looks sufficiently remorseful. Either that, or Desitin tastes really awful.

So, now I must go drag the steam cleaner up from the basement. My life is just all excitement, all the time, guys!

Q: Hi Heather. I have just begun the herculean task of replacing all of my kitchen equipment a piece at a time. The problem is we have never purchased any kitchen stuff for ourselves (even though we’ve been married for 7 years). Our kitchen is an eclectic collection of second hand things from our parents, friends, garage sales and wedding gifts. Being the geeks that we are my husband and I have been trying to decide just what we need. The idea is to purchase only what we need and not to overspend. We love reading your blog and were wondering what you have found to be your essential pieces of kitchen equipment? What couldn’t you live without? Do you have any advice for us?

A: Of course, everyone has different needs and preferences, and people have different “essentials,” based on their cooking habits. For example, if you cook a lot of Asian food, you may consider a wok or a rice cooker to be essential, and if you bake a lot, you may consider springform pans, or a cake decorating set to be essential. I tend to avoid buying lots of kitchen gadgets, because I prefer to invest in standard equipment that can serve multiple purposes, so I want to focus on what I consider to be basic essentials that everyone can use, and you can expand from there. Aside from the kitchen appliances you’ll find in nearly every home, such as a toaster, coffeemaker, and microwave (none of which I’m at all particular about), here’s what I think is essential to set up a well-equipped kitchen:

A set of stainless steel cookware. I love stainless steel because it’s durable, easy to clean, safe and non-reactive, doesn’t discolor, rust, or pit, and it’s affordable. Ideally, you should have large and small saute’ pans, large and small saucepans, a chef’s pan (which is like a deep skillet) and a large stockpot. You don’t need to spring for horribly expensive All-Clad cookware – though professional chefs will tell you it’s the best – because for home cooks, a less expensive set will do just fine. I own and love this Cuisinart set, because the handles are solidly riveted, the pans have an aluminum base for improved heat conduction, and the lids are interchangeable.

A set of sharp knives. You’ll most often use a chef’s knife, and a paring knife, but you should also have a serrated bread knife, and a knife for slicing. I’ve had the same Chicago Cutlery block knife set, similar to this one, all of my married life, and I think they’re great. This set includes a kitchen shears, which I would never have thought to buy, but use all the time.

Basic kitchen utensils. Wooden spoons, rubber spatulas, wire whisks, a large, slotted spoon, and a pancake turner – these are the ones I use the most. You should also have a small serving spatula for bars, cakes and pies, an ice cream scoop, a vegetable peeler, and a can opener.

Measuring cups and spoons. I have a set of 3 glass measuring cups (for liquids), as well as dry measures, and measuring spoons.

A good food processor. I own an inexpensive Black and Decker, and while it works fine, I can’t recommend it because it is deafening! I have to warn the children, and cover my ears before I turn it on. If you have the means, spring for a Cuisinart. It’s what the pros use.

Baking sheets, dishes and pans. Here’s what I have:
(2) 13×9 glass baking dishes (mine are Pyrex), with plastic lids for leftover storage
(1) 8×8 glass baking dish
(2) 13×9 baking pans (this is the size you’ll use most often. I like Wilton baking pans).
(2) 8×5 bread loaf pans
(2) 9-inch round cake pans
(1) 8×8 baking pan
(2) half sheet pans (I use these for roasting chicken breasts and vegetables, and for baking cookies).
(1) 15x10x1 jelly roll pan
(1) pizza pan

I never have a need for more than this, and I cook and bake a lot.

Silpat Silicone Baking Mats. These are, in my opinion, one of the best kitchen inventions ever. I LOVE them! I have enough to fit all of my sheet pans, and they produce the best quality baked goods. They’re an easy-to-clean, reusable replacement for parchment paper. I never have to scrape burned cookies off a sheet pan, and they provide a perfect, non-stick surface for kneading bread dough, too.

Here are some things I have and like, but they aren’t necessary (just nice!)
-A slow cooker. This is a lifesaver for busy Moms, and I use mine at least once a week.
-A salad spinner. Mine is OXO-brand.
-An enamel-coated, cast iron Dutch oven. I like this because it can go from stovetop to oven, has a multitude of uses, and makes delicious and simple artisan-quality bread.
-A cookie scoop. Wonderful for quickly making perfect, uniform cookies, and also meatballs. But don’t get a plastic one! I had one and it broke after a year. Spring for stainless steel – it will last forever.
-A cookie press. This little gadget saves me the agony of trying to roll and cut out my favorite, ultra-buttery sugar cookie dough every Christmas.
-A rolling pin, if you plan to make cut-out cookies or biscuits
-A bread machine
-A tea kettle. Not just for tea, but for heating small amounts of water for cocoa, jello, and recipes that call for water to be at boiling temp.
-A non-stick, 2-burner griddle. We make a lot of pancakes and crepes, and it’s also nice for making multiple grilled cheese sandwiches at the same time.
-A large roasting pan, if you plan to host holiday dinners
-A cake saver, for preserving all the homemade birthday cake leftovers
-A popcorn popper. We eat a lot of air-popped popcorn because it’s healthier and cheaper than the microwave kind.
-A Pyrex food storage set.  I don’t like plastic food storage containers (see Purging the Plastic).
-Glass canisters with lids, for storing dry goods. You can buy these inexpensively at most dollar stores.

We have a nice set of ironstone dishes for holidays, but our everyday dishes are Pfaltzgraff blue and white stoneware. We’ve had them for years, and we’re pleased with how well they’ve held up. We also have an Anchor Hocking universal tumbler set, because they’re the heaviest, most durable drinking glasses I could find, and they don’t tip (we’re notorious for breaking glasses around here).

I’m sure I left something out, but I think this list is fairly complete. I hope it helps! Readers, feel free to add your own “essentials” in the comments.

Several readers requested this simple and delicious recipe after I wrote my Typical Day post, and if you’ve made my Awesome Pot Roast, you’ll recognize that the gravy is the same.  This is one of the first dishes I ever cooked for my husband (before he was my husband). I have no idea how or why I remember that, especially since I can’t even remember what day it is usually.

But that’s not really the point of this post.

And now, to go off on another tangent, I shared this just married photo of my husband and me on Amtrak’s Facebook wall this week, and they added our wedding day as a milestone on their timeline. Which I thought was really cool, and it’s made me pine for our pre-kid days. I was feeling especially nostalgic yesterday, after I listened to Bee play “Hot Cross Buns” on her recorder, over and over, for two hours straight, while sitting in the rocker with DJ, parroting “Don’t scratch, honey bunny,” every time his fingers inched toward one of his “chicken pops.”

DJ seems very confused about what his chickenpox are actually called. So far, we’ve had chicken legs, chicken pops, and yesterday, he pointed to his foot, and said, “Mama, see my chicken box?”

So. What was I saying again?

Oh, yes…the recipe.

INGREDIENTS:
2 lbs round steak
2 tablespoons homemade onion soup mix (or sub (1) 1.25-ounce packet of store-bought)
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons water
1 (10 1/2 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken or mushroom soup (I use chicken, because I hate mushrooms)

DIRECTIONS:
1. Cut steak into 6 serving pieces, and trim as much visible fat as possible.
2. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet, over medium-high heat. Sear steaks on both sides. Place in slow cooker.
3. Pour off any excess oil in the pan, and deglaze with water, stirring to remove all the browned bits from the bottom. Add onion soup mix, and cream soup, and whisk until smooth. Pour over steaks.
4. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours (I prefer to cook for the full 8 hours, if possible).

Enjoy, and have a great weekend everybody!

Since yesterday, we’ve been dealing with something I never thought would be an issue for any of our kids – the chicken pox.

I do vaccinate my children, and they’ve all had the varicella vaccine, but poor DJ, who is too young to have had both of the required doses, came down with the pox anyway.

The poor little guy just can't catch a break.

Fortunately, he has a mild case, in comparison to when I had them as a kid, and was covered from head to toe in crusty scabs. He doesn’t seem terribly bothered by them, though he does scratch, and he refuses to allow me to put calamine lotion on. Our doctor recommended that we give him Zyrtec or Claritin, and just try to keep him comfortable. Last night, he came upstairs after his shower, pointed to some pox on his leg, and said, “Look Mom…I got chicken legs.”

He also refers to them as “Chicken Pops,” which sounds like something you might find on the menu at Sonic.

I’m just trying to keep my sense of humor about being stuck at home with sick kids for three weeks straight (Cakes came down with the flu last week, just as DJ was getting over it). Although yesterday, when I first discovered and recognized his spots as chicken pox, I immediately got him dressed and hauled him out to the van to go to the doctor’s office, and I think I yelled, on my way out the door, “My life SUCKS right now!”

Or something to that effect.

Anyway, on to the last batch of your email questions:

Q: I have 5 boys (3 that live here all the time, and 2 are my step sons) We also have a baby girl on the way. We have a 3 bedroom house so as you can imagine I’m trying to make the most of our space. Toys and clothes are a major issue in the little guys bedroom (they are 3,4,and 5) They all share one closet. I am just looking for thrifty organizational ideas. I have been reading your blog frequently ever since I stumbled across it, you have some very crafty ideas. I know if anyone can help you can.

A: Have you ever heard of the concept of a “family closet?” If I had an extra bedroom, I would turn it into a playroom, and use the closet as a family closet, because I think it would really simplify the laundry process. It involves dividing up the closet pole into sections for each person, but ready-made dividers cost $1 apiece, so I would recommend that you just save lids, such as from cottage cheese containers, punch holes in the centers to fit the closet pole, and label them. Much cheaper. You also need to install low closet shelving, with a section designated for each child, for folded clothing and shoes. I think this idea might work for keeping the clothes mess organized for your boys. Also, I would suggest setting up a toy library system, although I do try to avoid keeping toys in bedrooms. Our playroom is in the basement, because we’ve found that toys in the bedroom create too much chaos, but obviously this isn’t an option for everyone. I recommend doing a major toy purge first, and you will need to police the boys diligently until they’re consistently following the rules. I’m also a fan of under-the-bed storage boxes on wheels, because I like hidden storage, and they make clean-up easy. They’re great for toys like Legos, because they’re shallow, so it’s easy for kids to find the pieces they’re looking for.

Q: Would you consider writing a post about preschool? This is a topic I’m struggling with right now since we are in preschool registration time for the upcoming fall. I know you were unhappy with Cakes’ first preschool and you pulled her out. Did you ever regret not sending her to a structured program during that year? Did/Do you think preschool makes a difference for a 3 year old vs. just sending them when they’re 4? Have you given much thought to what you’re going to do for DJ?

A: After I wrote my Preschool Dropout post my friend, Denise, who is also the director of the private preschool that Bee attended, sweetly called to reassure me that Cakes would be absolutely fine with only one year of preschool. I think the major focus of preschool at age 3 is socialization, and introducing children to the structure of a classroom setting, but my opinion (and I think Denise would agree) is that children don’t necessarily need to attend preschool at age 3, especially if their parents read to them regularly, spend time with them, and provide them with opportunities to play with children in the same age group. I don’t regret my decision whatsoever.

I’m a firm believer in the advantages of early education programs. There was an opening in Denise’s 3-year-old program for the second semester of that year, so I did enroll Cakes, and she’s done extremely well. Bee attended preschool for two years, and I plan to enroll DJ at age 3 also. I think that Bee, upon entering kindergarten, had a good understanding of how to get along with other kids, follow rules and directions, and participate in a group setting. She also had a good grasp of language, and was already reading at age 4. However, now that I’ve had experience with both, I believe that there’s a major difference between private preschool programs – such as the one Cakes now attends 3 mornings a week – and public combination preschool/daycare programs, like the one I pulled her out of. Not that public programs are bad, but when care for children of all different ages is included, the staff, by necessity, has a whole lot more to focus on than just preschool. So, while there is a free, public preschool program available in our community, and they’re putting up a new building so DJ wouldn’t be in the dungeon-like environment that Cakes was, I’m still going to enroll him in Denise’s private program. I think it’s worth the money.

Q: Would you be willing to share how you handle your use of your Discover card? That is the one we have for use, as well. That cash back is wonderful, but I fear that we will have a hard time staying paid off to date. How do you manage the amount spent each month, as far as setting a budget for your usage? Do you specify a certain percentage of the month’s usage for different categories? If so, how do you track what you’ve spent in each category? We, too, have Quicken, to help me keep track of payments and balances, etc, but I have never used it to break down an account’s balance to track spending. I hope this makes sense to you…hard to say what I am trying to ask, I guess. We have tried to figure out how to come up with a reasonable amount of money to have each month for groceries and household expenses, but it seems to vary so much. When we started tracking how much we spend each month on “stuff” as Gail Vaz Oxlade would say on TV, we were seriously shocked.

A: I completely understand. It can be difficult to keep tabs on it, and I remember months when I would open our bill, and be like, “WHAT!? Honey, I think someone’s been using our credit card!” All those little miscellaneous purchases can really add up.

Do you use Discover online? Because I solved this problem by taking advantage of the free “Spend Analyzer” which tracks and categorizes your spending for you every month, based on how the merchants you buy from are categorized. Since our most recent statement closing date, we have 4 transactions – 3 in the merchandise category, and 1 in automotive. I check this every week, and break down the general categories a bit more, if necessary, to get an idea of whether we’re staying on budget. Sometimes I find that we need to reign in our spending in certain categories, but there are no more unpleasant surprises when the bill comes.

Q: I would love your imput on a certain issue I have with my 2 year old son. One of my biggest challenges during the day is when my attention is taken from him because of a phone call, preparing dinner, helping his sister with her preschool homework etc. He will go into another room to poop or pee so that I have to stop what I am doing and clean it up. He only does it when he is demanding that hold him, get milk for him, play with him and I tell him just a minute mommy is —— fill in the blank. Any ideas?

A: Because he only does it when he wants attention from you, I believe this to be an (inappropriate) attention-seeking behavior. Is there a particular time of day when this happens most often? Is he otherwise potty-trained? Generally, in children this age, this kind of behavior is most often caused by physical stress, such as hunger, illness, or fatigue, or by anxiety, frustration, or anger. Children often act out when they feel out of control, overwhelmed, and unable to manage their emotions, and they also try to test limits. It’s always helpful to try and see the world through your child’s eyes. For 2-year-olds, the dinner hour is a particularly difficult time, because they’re usually fatigued and hungry, and desperate for parental attention (especially if they’ve spent the day with another caregiver). I would suggest that before you begin dinner prep, or homework help, you make sure that his basic needs are met – snacks, drinks, clean diaper – and get him settled with an activity he enjoys. Also, pay close attention to his sleep times, and make sure that he’s getting adequate night-time rest (11-12 hours is typical for most toddlers) as well as an afternoon nap (1-2 hours). If his behavior continues, it may be because he hasn’t learned appropriate limits and boundaries, or it may be a warning sign that something is really bothering him, in which case, you’ll need to do some more investigating.

Q: I’m currently on my 3rd and final pregnancy and just found out we are having twins! I have 2 small children still in the home all day, and have been SO tired. Can you give me any advice on how to keep a semi-clean home all while keeping my youngins’ entertained? The guilt trip is starting to set in because the tv has become my babysitter, and take-out dinners are getting pricey All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep alllll day….

A: Congratulations! Go easy on yourself right now. It’s OK to employ Mrs. T (which is what I call the TV, when I’m desperate for a break), and to eat takeout, if that’s what you need to do to get by. In the early stages of my pregnancy with DJ, I suffered from crippling morning sickness, and our house was disgraceful, but we all survived. I was blessed with a friend, who took the girls during the day, for several days during the worst of it, and our church provided some meals for us, so I didn’t need to cook every day (thank goodness, because I couldn’t even look at food!) Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t try to do more than Basic Maintenance. You need to just go into survival mode, and remember that it will get better. I know that can be hard to do, but I found that once I lowered my standards, I was more able to accept the take-out food, dust bunnies, laundry piles, and general filth.