Last week on the WWYH Facebook page, I commented on this portion of a U.S. News and World Report article about the rising cost of childcare:
“…some families avoid high childcare costs by having one parent work days and the other work nights, so one parent is always available for childcare duty. However, in addition to the strain of working opposite schedules and always being “on,” this arrangement could short-change a child’s development. “There are developmental benefits if the child is in quality childcare,” says Smith.”
As a SAHM, this article offended me, because it seemed to be suggesting that stay-at-home parents aren’t able to provide quality childcare, and that children who stay home with their parents, instead of going to daycare, are “shortchanged” developmentally.
Edited to add:
I think my assessment of this article is supported by the very next paragraph, which states, “Williams opted to put her kids in childcare rather {sic} stay home and says her older child’s kindergarten teacher notices the difference between students who’ve gone to preschool and those who haven’t. “[Kids who went to preschool] know how to be around other kids,” she says. “They are more social. They know the rules. It definitely helps to get them ready in more ways than just learning how to spell their name.” However, it’s a very poorly written article, so it’s somewhat difficult to ascertain the actual intended meaning.
Most readers agreed that this was ridiculous but, as always, others felt they must message me to defend their decision to put their kids in daycare. The thing is, I’d said nothing at all about Moms who work, or who put their kids in daycare. I was talking about myself, and my choice to stay at home because, to be frank, I’m sick and tired of the mainstream media publishing ridiculous and offensive articles intended to demean stay-at-home parents. Obviously, I think that staying at home is the right thing for ME to do…why else would I do it? I want to, my husband wants me to, I’m financially able to, so I do…. and naturally I take real offense when someone tries to insinuate that keeping my children at home with me is somehow doing them a disservice. If that article had said that working parents shortchange a child’s development, and there are developmental benefits if the child stays at home with a parent, then Moms who work outside the home would have been the ones up in arms.
It astonishes me how so many people can’t understand that defending a personal choice is not a tacit “judgment” of another person’s choice. To be quite honest, I don’t generally concern myself with other people’s choices, because I have better things to do, and they’re none of my business. I might disagree with them, but in my day-to-day interactions with people, I pretty much keep my opinions to myself. I realize that this is a rather novel concept in our society today, but I believe in minding my own business.
This is what I was doing a couple weeks ago at my daughter’s dance class, when another Mom, who was there to sign up her own child for dance, started quizzing me about whether I was going to sign the girls up for soccer? Girl Scouts? Band?
We set a strict limit on extra-curricular activities, and I insist that we eat dinner together every night (sitting at a table – not in the car), and all the kids must be in bed on time so they can stay healthy and do well in school. But when I told this woman that we limit our kids’ activities to two, she was very disapproving, and suggested that I’m “preventing them from reaching their full potential.” She then ran down the laundry list of all the stuff HER kids are doing this fall.
This went on for a long time, and I held my tongue until she finished her very long argument, but then I said, “Well, I don’t feel that busy-ness should be worn like a badge of honor, and rather than being just OK at a whole bunch of things, I’d rather my kids focus on what they love most, and be FANTASTIC.”
I posted this on Facebook, and it was overwhelmingly my most popular post ever. Nearly 300 people liked it, and spoke out in favor of limiting kids’ activities, but a few readers felt that I was, again, “judging.” Never mind that I would have said absolutely nothing to this woman if she hadn’t spent the greater part of my child’s dance class trying to convince me of my failings as a parent.
There is a difference between judging, and standing up for yourself.
If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you must surely know by now that while I generally write about educational, fun, and lighthearted topics, if there’s something I believe in strongly, I WILL stand up for it. The name of this blog is Want What You Have, and the entire premise is me writing to encourage people to save money, simplify, cut out the fluff, and focus on what’s really important to them….because yes, I believe strongly that learning to be content is the key to happiness, and I want to get that message out to people. Why? Because I think it will change their lives for the better. So, is it really any surprise that I would object to a person insisting that I cram more activities into the lives of my children? I think I’ve made it quite clear in the past that I’ve had the busy life, and it was pretty much a miserable, unfulfilling one. As one reader said…. just because you’re busy, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything important.
Yesterday, I received a private message about how my recent Facebook posts were “off-putting,” and “borderline rude,” because I was making generalizations (though there was no explanation of what those generalizations were – even after I asked specifically for one). This is no surprise to me…whenever I stray from posts that are all sprinkles and sunshine, I receive a critical message from someone. In my almost 5 years of blogging, I’ve been told that I’m wrong for:
1. Putting my kids in public school
2. Calling my son “the boy.”
3. Not being as helpful as I “used to be.”
4. Having a bad day, and daring to write about it
5. Complaining because I threw up 5 times a day for the first 4 months of my pregnancy with DJ
6. Not being “grateful” enough
7. Growing out my gray hair
8. Referring to a group of nasty girls who were bullying my child as “bitchy.”
9. Writing too much about my personal life, and not enough about organization/frugality
10. Occasionally being sarcastic
11. Not liking a celebrity that other readers DO like
12. Innocently using an expression that someone else with different circumstances found offensive
13. Believing that Christ is the One true God and daring to say so
I could go on, but in a nutshell, if I’m not fulfilling certain readers’ needs, fantasies, and expectations, I’m sure to hear about it.
When you’re a public blogger, you openly share your life with the world, and with that comes the risk of criticism. But I hate feeling like I must endlessly defend myself and my positions – it ruins blogging for me. If you don’t like me and my opinions, why on earth are you here? It makes no sense to me. This is my platform – I pay for and maintain it, and it’s my corner of the internet where I can write about what matters to me. I like writing, I like recording the details of our life (lest I should forget), I like helping people and having a creative outlet, and I like the community of people who read and share ideas here. I know that people will not always agree with me, but most who do disagree word their comments kindly and respectfully, and we all move on with our lives. Others do not, but as I’m fond of saying, if you have something you need to get off your chest, by all means….get your own blog. When I read blogs, I do so because I find them entertaining, or I like the author’s point of view, and I assume that most of you read this blog for the same reasons. What I don’t do is attempt to “school,” or sway other bloggers to my way of thinking by leaving lengthy, critical comments for them, because I know from experience that these are quite tiresome to deal with, and in the end, they serve no purpose.
I’ve also learned that the time and effort necessary to respond to people who wish to educate me about my shortcomings is a waste…and I won’t do it anymore. Comments like that will go unread, and will be deleted with no response, so if you have a mind to leave one, please consider that the time you spend crafting it has value, and life is short.
Now, I’m going to spend what’s left of this beautiful Saturday with my family, but next week I’ll be back, with more opinions! Hold on to your hats, folks.
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Great blog post, I appreciate your insight and opinions though I don’t comment much. I’m glad to hear you won’t be shutting down the blog. If people spent more time worrying about their own concerns instead of trying to control how other people live their life people would be more happy (IMHO) but there would be less drama (which I think some people *need* in their lives in order to be miserably happy, if you know what I mean).
I know I have taken offense at a couple of posts you’ve written and let you know about it. Afterward, I felt like an ass. Who cares what I think? This is your blog and you’re writing YOUR thoughts not what I wish your thoughts were. So, I made a decision to never make negative comments on anyone’s blog and I haven’t. I still read your blog and love it. Keep on writing!
I love this post. I have a slew of opinions that I just keep to myself, because I know those opinions will end up affecting my Husbands job prospects later on (he’s working on a PhD). Why is it so common these days that if I disagree with you, then I’m being offensive? Sorry, folks, but disagreeing isn’t being offensive!
I’m glad when I see folks have an opinions and be willing to stand up for it. In fact, Hubby and I got the greatest kick about meeting someone who has totally different opinions on many topics, and who stuck to his opinions.
I enjoy reading about your family times. I enjoy reading about the things you’ve figured out, or the ways you do things. I enjoy the way you write. so, please, give your opinions, like you do.
When I started blogging I made the decision to leave the negativity out. If someone makes a critical comment, I usually delete it. My opinions are just that, mine. I don’t feel the need to defend myself or my choices. If people don’t like that, they don’t have to read my blog.
I love your blog and have been reading for 3 years now! How dare someone criticize you for being human or having an opinion? It’s the “my life is perfect” blogs that I don’t waste my time on. I love you and your family because you are REAL! Please, please keep blogging…we need more examples like you in the blog-sphere.
Oh Heather, PLEASE don’t consider shutting down your blog! Since I found it in May, I’ve gotten so much inspiration, enjoyment, and ideas from your little corner of the internet! It’s true, some people just love to argue and waste time. I think your fans, me included, think of your blog posts as visiting with a friend, and friends don’t always have the exact same opinions, which makes life interesting! Nobody should get offended or upset. Keep up the wonderful work – I love to read your tips, as well as the latest antics and adventures of your family! You’re an inspiration and a blessing.
Angela
I think it is ridiculous what people complain to you about. I guess it takes a lot to offend me because none of the things on your list have ever even phased me. My only complaint is that you dont write so often anymore. Its not really a complaint, it just makes me sad. I get why you dont and im not trying to make you feel bad, but this is by far my favorite blog and i get excited when i see new posts. Soooo, you know, post something at least 5 days a week and i will be happy;) But seriously, im glad you’ve decided to stick with it. This blog makes me feel calm, happy and content. i cant even explain why, it just does:)
Heather, I’m so happy you aren’t shutting down. There are way too many of us learning from you — you’re influence as been positive for so many families. I’ve only been reading for about a week and I look forward to it every single day. Find it in you to ignore all the posts who are not construcive. They will only make your work here more meaningful. Seriously, I am the last person you would ever imagine would follow a blog, let alone a blog like yours. I’m an ultra-liberal, single, working mom, who does not attend church and I find your writing so inspirational, calming and uplifting. I am actually a school teacher and believe me when I say that OUR SCHOOLS WOULD BE MUCH NICER PLACES IF THERE WERE MORE WOMEN LIKE YOU. Your priorities are truly in place and your life is a reflection of that.
I love love love reading your posts. You are inspiring! Please don’t change a single thing about the way you blog. Please don’t shut down your blog based on the negative comments of others.
I’ve been reading your blog faithfully for almost 2 years. Don’t change a thing – you nailed it with your paragraph that starts ‘When you’re a public blogger….’. Don’t defend yourself – it’s YOUR blog! For some reason, there are some people who feel better about themselves by picking others apart – don’t waste your time or energy on those people. It’s that simple. The people who care about you and enjoy reading your thoughts through blog posts will not try to bring you down because we read what you write to bring ourselves up!
You’ve inspired me in so many ways, I can’t even begin to list them all! When I see you’ve made a new post, it’s a gift for me to open it up and read it. Of course there are a few things I may have a different opionion on, but when that happens I enjoy taking time to consider yours – and that is how you learn new things or maybe have the chance to look at something from a different point of view. Someone once said ‘if you think you already know everything, you won’t get a chance to learn’ and I agree.
I appreciate the work you put into your posts, and the amount of thought and time it must take you.
You could look at this with a different perspective and consider yourself a celebrity. Isn’t it when people judge or make negitive comments about it’s because they’re jealous…hmmmm…
Keep on going, Heather. You are an inspiration. I know you have a lot of supporters that truely enjoy what you do, listen to those voices – even when the few negitive ones seem to speak so loudly.
I think you could be correct in your assessment of the article, based only on that little blurb, but the very next paragraph says:
“Williams opted to put her kids in childcare rather stay home and says
her older child’s kindergarten teacher notices the difference between
students who’ve gone to preschool and those who haven’t. “[Kids who
went to preschool] know how to be around other kids,” she says. “They
are more social. They know the rules. It definitely helps to get them
ready in more ways than just learning how to spell their name.”
This is what lead me to believe that they were, in fact, suggesting that kids in childcare/preschool are better off.
I think you could be correct in your assessment of the article, based only on that little blurb, but the very next paragraph says:
“Williams opted to put her kids in childcare rather stay home and says
her older child’s kindergarten teacher notices the difference between
students who’ve gone to preschool and those who haven’t. “[Kids who
went to preschool] know how to be around other kids,” she says. “They
are more social. They know the rules. It definitely helps to get them
ready in more ways than just learning how to spell their name.”
This is what lead me to believe that they were, in fact, suggesting that kids in childcare/preschool are better off.
as a mom who gets criticized (mostly people beating around the bush) for my kids not speaking as well as other (daycare) kids all i have to say is this:
yep, kids who spend an extra year or more in a classroom setting before kindergarten are more prepared for a classroom setting than kids who don’t.
lol – Who cares. I thought that much was obvious. lol. I think that kids being raised by their family is more important than the inconvenience a kindergarten teacher has to teach kindergarteners about classroom rules.
Wasn’t that the point of kindergarten? To prep the little ones for first grade; which is why it used to be a 1/2 day? But since public school is failing kids academically later on I guess “they” figure “they” can do better by getting kids out of their homes into public school sooner rather than re-vamping the system.
(I am definently not trying to down public-school parents in saying this. Just that the public school system desperatley needs reform and getting kids out of their homes as soon as possible isn’t the way to go.)
whoa – that 50 cents came out of nowhere. lol. love you heather!
I avidly read your blog. Oddly enough, you and I have absolutely nothing in common. Nothing. From never having any children down to not having a handy husband. (lol)
I have yet to ready anything in your blog that even warranted raising an eyebrow. You post this for entertainment value (kids adventures) to being fiscally responsible (garaging) to great recipes (lemon bread!!) (Ok, I’ll admit I didn’t quite understand the religious thing about certain meats, but its not mine to judge, simply to understand the differences.)
Why on earth do people think they have the right to judge and why do they think their opinions are superior (and then try to force them down someone’s throat).
I think some of this comes down to that you might make some folks feel guilty. . . mmm maybe uncomfortable. You have trimmed your lifestyle so that you can be home full time with your children. Many are unwilling (some unable) to trim their lifestyles, period. Parenting seems to have become a contest. They send their kinds to all those activities likes they are climbing up the children’s corporate ladder. I might point out that the stresses of ladder climbing are the downfall of many adults. There is nothing swishy about your parenting style, discipline, responsibility. They may see you as tough because between working, daycare, and all those activities. . . they actually might not every spend that much time with their children and feel the need to spoil.
Now on the other hand if you leave out the struggles, you will get haters because you are too perfect. And seriously, someone had the bother to complain about your hair. Really?!?
Maybe try having a website, instead of a blog when you feel you’ve “run the course”. I follow The Prudent Homemaker who actually just started blogging, but has a website full of info that is very helpful.
nuff said,
I think I have lemons in the fridge and lemon bread calling my name!!
Hi Heather, I just stumbled across your blog about 3 days ago and confess that I love everything I see!! I would die if you closed the blog at the end of the year because I draw strength from seeing that there are families out there who see things the way I do. I’m sure there are things I will come across that I disagree with or will not do, as you advise. However, everyone is different and lives their life in a different way. As you pointed out and clearly recognize, it’s a blog that people will not always agree with, but that is their choice. There is no sweat in worrying about what they think. What comes to mind is a phrase I read a few years ago and constantly remind myself of, “What other people think of you is none of your business.” If you live life reminding yourself of that thought, you might find yourself a whole lot less stressed out about others attitudes towards you. Better yet, if MOST others thought about that, they might not be so quick to criticize how others live their lives lol I’m not perfect and have gotten caught up in some of the ignorant wasteful spending, thinking, and ideals of today’s society. It’s actually what brought me to this blog. I’ve always loved the idea of living a frugal lifestyle and a less “wanting” life (partly because I’ve been forced to by circumstance), but mostly because I’ve found myself MUCH happier when I do
A recent burden has made it even more clear that if I don’t, I will live a life where I am a slave to my bills and desires. My point is your blog inspires me and I hope to continue to draw inspiration and focus from following it. And as for those who disagree (maybe even me once in a while) screw em! As you said, you can’t please everyone 
I just wanted to say that I love your blog. I truly hope you do keep it going for as long as you want. I enjoy reading everything you post from recipes to organization to your very fun family life. Your blog speaks to me like a good friend and I look forward to reading it every week.
I completely agree when you wrote: “Well, I don’t feel that busy-ness should be worn like a badge of
honor, and rather than being just OK at a whole bunch of things, I’d
rather my kids focus on what they love most, and be FANTASTIC.” I strongly believe this and will hold onto it as the years pass and my children grow. There’s always someone who judges and makes me feel like I’m not doing enough but I just bush it off because they don’t really know my life because it’s MY life not theirs.
Thank you for writing so honestly and openly. If some people don’t like it then they can just go do something else. I’m sure they have a whole list of things to do to keep them busy.
I too am glad you will continue with your blog. I enjoy reading all of your entries whatever the content. And I’m happy you will no longer spend your time replying to negative comments.
I believe that there is no longer civil discourse in this country. If you don’t believe as someone else, you are wrong. We no longer agree to disagree, it’s “I’m right, you’re wrong” regardless of the issue. So disheartening to me, especially during this election year.
Keep up the good work of your blog! I don’t comment often but I read as often as you post. Happy Fall!
You are awesome!! Just like you said, “you can’t please everyone”..and it feels great when you just accept that!
I used to take everything so personal, and I finally just STOPPED. It has been the best thing I have EVER DONE–besides accepting Christ as my Savior–and I don’t ever regret that. I’m thankful for a God who has helped me to do this. I’m a much happier person now.
I too enjoy your blog endlessly! I find it a shining star in a sea of well, political correctness, and how i’m better than you ness that seems to permiate the internet these days. Keep it up! We love you sista!
Hah. Really someone took issue with not dying your hair? That stuff is full of chemicals on the cancer risk list. But then so is deodorant.
Well. Just shame on you for living your own life and not someone else’s. You are very wicked.
Yes…a couple people felt that I was too young to not cover my gray, and they didn’t like the way I looked with it. As if that would make me run right out and color it, because oh my WORD! Some strangers don’t like the way I look! (Uh oh…and there’s that sarcasm that some strangers also don’t like).
*stands up and gives thunderous applause*
You tell them honey! I love reading every single word you write. Do you and I share the same exact belief on every single thing? No ma’am. Does that make us less robotic and more human? YES MA’AM! I like that we have differences. I love that I can come here and read the real life of a SAHM. It’s not all rainbows and puppy dogs. Sometimes you need to call someone bitchy. Sometimes you need to say it’s Miller time. Sometimes you need to come here to beam because your kiddos did something amazing and you want the entire world to know because you are that proud that you know you are doing this parenting thing right.
I applaud you. I would be incredibly sad if you didn’t blog anymore.
I completely agree with you Jacky!
You know, one of the reasons I’m too chicken to blog is because I’m afraid of having to deal with negative comments! I have a journal full of potential blog posts that will just stay on my nightstand where we all live happily together!
That said, I have always really admired your ability to post about your life, your kids, your opinions, and your advice. You have an uncanny ability to sense when something needs saying, and when something is best left unsaid. You don’t jump into every current social issue that’s out there just for the sake of having your opinion included, but you’re not afraid to stand up for what you believe. You entertain us almost daily with anecdotes about your kids, but you have never once compromised their safety or “internet footprint” in doing so. And the help/advice? Oh. My. Goodness!! You are my go-to place when I have a question or need about homemaking. As a former “career woman”, I take great pride that my home and my kids are now my profession, and I want to work towards getting better at that profession, both for me and for them. There is NO better place on the internet to find help in that pursuit than here.
Thank you for all the work you put into your blog, your family, and your readers. Those of us who appreciate you? We REALLY appreciate you! Those who don’t? They can just go someplace else, the internet is a big place….
I am a grandmother of 4. I also run a ‘in home’ child care. I have been in business more than 22 years. I left a job with a big company to stay home with my own sons. I still needed some income. Taking care of babies is just something I love to do. I treat each child in my care like a grandchild. I am so ever glad some women have jobs that allow ME to stay home, make a good living, and take care of their children. Teachers, nurses, etc come to mind.
We are all women. We all know it is work to be a mother. Nothing is easy to all women. I wish women would give each other a break. There is no right or wrong to this. We are women, mothers, and children of God. As such hateful things left on someone’s personal blog is just tacky and low class.
You inspire women to try harder. To try again. To know it does not have to be perfect to be good. Please know you are appreciated for the job you do. I do believe there are a few people who are jealous of what you have. You have worked hard to get your life to be what it is; others need to know if they want to have the same kind of life they are going to have to put in the work to get it. May God belss.
Love this… “to know it does not have to be perfect to be good”
I first found your blog when I felt like I wasn’t being fully committed to my own responsibilities as a stay at home mother and wife. I typed in the search “being happy for what you have” over a year and a half ago and found your blog. You’ve inspired me to start a vlog of my own on homesteading/gardening which I have NO idea what I’m doing but NO FEAR!
This is probably the best blog around …… love your down to earth, sensible advice/tips much needed in todays world thank you
Your blog is one of my favorites and has always been. Heck, your blog is the only one I go into the blog list and click on by itself so I can make sure I haven’t missed a single post you’ve put out there. I have a small little blog and it’s fallen by the wayside because I work full time and just don’t have the time to invest in it like I should. So, I live vicariously through your blog! You’re funny, smart, thrifty, frugal, intellectual, and have great ideas for living life without a buttload of debt. I think we’d be besties if we lived near each other. Everyone’s a critic, or thinks so. We live in the U S of the Offended and it wears me out. I’m glad to hear you aren’t going to give up the blog in a year. If you did, whatever in the world would I read?
– Karen (one of your faithful blog readers)
Well put, Jacky! I admit, I was so sad when she decided to back off blogging – but understood why.
I don’t comment very often, but had to today. I agree 100%. You can’t please everyone, and would go crazy even trying. I love your blog and was so happy to read that you are going to continue on. Your “real” posts help me realize I am not the only one that feels the way I do. I am a stay at home mom also, and as much as I love my children, there are days when I am at my wits end, questioning why I stay home. For the very few times when I don’t agree with something you’ve written, I figure life would be boring if we all thought exactly the same way. God made us different for a reason. Sorry this is so long, I just want to thank you for sharing your life with us. For letting us see the good and the bad, for letting all of us know we are not alone. Thank you!!
Hi Heather. I’ve been reading your blog for less than one year. I really enjoy it. I’m married, we are planning on having kids soon. I value your experience and perspective on parenting and budgeting. Your blog helps me be mindful and reflect on the kind of parent I want to be and the family I want to create with my husband. I’m leaning towards being a SAHM, I pray that I will enjoy it (I do believe I will though – but I know I might have a different response after the baby is born). I hope you continue to write your blog, whether or not you take a different slant in the future.
I started reading your blog shortly after my son was born. He is just over a year. Your blog has been such a comfort to me. It is the only blog that I read on a continual basis and have bookmarked on the computer. It would be a real bummer if you were to stop because some people don’t like people expressing an opinion that is different from theirs. There are people out there who feel that it is their sole purpose in life, to belittle or berate other people. They bring about a negative vibe that can dishearten even the strongest of people. I love that you are not afraid to talk about your faith. There are not many people who would blog so openly about it especially in this secular age. It is really refreshing to read someone who is so close to their faith, a rare treasure. I had some personal issues with my mother in law doing the same thing. I was angry for a long time. You inspired me to start blogging myself because I can put my focus into something that really matters, my family. What would the world be like if everyone did things the same way? Sounds like a boring version of the world to me. Thank you for writing your blog!!!
Due to the cost of childcare, I was spending a quarter of my paycheck every week. So now I’m home during the day and my husband works. At night I work a few hours and my husband is with our son. I don’t see how the article you referenced could say it’s more beneficial for a child to be at daycare. We make time to be together as a family, and our son gets one on one time with both parents. It irritates me to no end when people think our child will lack socialization skills when he goes to school. It’s not like he’s never around other people. People need to quit judging and start living their own lives.
Heather, I love your blog and have been reading for almost 2 years now. I love you. Rearly comment, but I love it. I’m thankful for your blog. And I appreciate your honesty. You remind me so much of myself and I love hearing about your family and adventures. God bless you.
Even the Military agrees with you on limiting activities! The Marine Corps has the “Rule of Three”. Basically, studies and real world situations have proven that you can truly focus on only 3 things at any given time. Otherwise productivity and effectiveness deteriorates dramatically. And studies have found that the same is true for kids, school counts as 1 activity, so 2 extra curricular activities at any given time is perfect! My boyfriend’s ex-wife does this with his daughter and quite frankly, I think she is over stimulated with activities to the point that she has no imagination, has no idea how to keep herself busy and not get bored and is a velcro kid, expecting the adults to “entertain” her constantly. When she is at our house, we certainly encourage time to to just be a kid, make mud pies, take the dogs back to the creek, build a fort in the field, hunt for toads. Not only do we want her to have some down time, but constantly going and doing things gets very expensive. I give you 2 very big thumbs up for raising your kids YOUR way, after all. . . they are YOUR KIDS!
BTW, love your blog! You are an inspiration!
Courtneyhttp://athomegirlfriend.blogspot.com/
Well, I for one ADORE your blog, and your family stuff as well as the organizational stuff has helped me immensely. I raised two children and now my husband and I are raising our grandson whom we’ve adopted (had him since he was 10 days old). We don’t have much of an income and the economy is bad to boot. I have some really challenging health issues. The list can go on. But what I love about Want What You Have is that it keeps me grounded in what’s really important, and it curbs my silly thoughts about what things “should” be like. I mean, I want to be Mary Poppins or Maria from The Sound of Music as much as anyone… I come to this blog to SEE what family looks like, to SEE what housework looks like, to KNOW it’s okay to try and build a frugal and meaningful life. I try to keep in mind that we’re not losers, even though society tells us that every day. So dear Heather–keep it up. I don’t care if you change focus. There’s enough on the blog about housekeeping to keep me busy at least for the next ten years. You and your family is important to a lot of us, so don’t be swayed by the icky little minions that show up in your life or on this beautiful blog of yours. They mean zero and are just trying to tear you down. There is NOT ANOTHER BLOG LIKE THIS in the entire WORLD, and it is just fantastic. So you just keep keeping on. Your family needs you to, and so do those of us who would be lost without you. God bless you and trust me that you can hold your head high–what you’re giving your family, and the world, is important. Less IS more.
Heather, I would like to thank you for this blog.
You’re on my “favorite” list, because I come here when I need a dose of reality and what is truly important. I admire how you live your life and appreciate that you share the ups AND the downs (not just the how to). Your happy home reminds me of my own when growing up.
I don’t know if you’ll see this comment…but at any rate – Thank you.
Hey Heather!
I’m very new to your blog and very new to blogging. I started a little family blog maybe a week ago after shutting down another blog I had- I realized that previous blog was very much focused on what I wanted to portray and not neccesarily what was really going on in my life. I felt like I had a lot of “mom guilt” over certain things so I made a brand new blog and am holding myself to enjoying what I have… hence, how I found your AMAZING blog!
I have absolutely dealt with such judgement/disbelief/grief over being a stay-at-home mother. I have so many friends with younger children in daycare and older children in preschool and I can’t even tell you things that have been passive-aggresively stated to me, especially once I started home-preschooling. I was apparently “crazy” or overachieving, as though striving for something for my children was shameful. And, get this, the PRIMARY REASON I decided on home-preschool was because my children don’t qualify for our school district’s preschool- all the spots are first offered to very low income, non-English speaking or developmetally challeged children and those spots filled up quickly. So, I HAVE to home-preschool basically. I struggle with it, I stress and I am excited that my oldest will be able to start Kindergarten next school year at a public school. Am I concerned that she’ll have a harder time adjusting? Absolutely. Do I feel like I’ve hindered her by being her primary caretaker? Absolutely not.
Thank you for your awesome words! I already love your blog and can’t wait to catch up and keep reading more.
- Chantal, adventuresinhickeyland.blogspot.com
I’m a little late to this party, but I’ve just found your site and I LOVE IT! Keep on speaking your mind!
And I don’t know if anyone else mentioned this but the image you used originally came from XKCD (http://xkcd.com/386/) Just wanted to let you know
Keep up the good work!