The winners of Mitch Albom’s book, Have a Little Faith, as chosen by Random.org, were comments 8 and 17, from these two readers:
Keeley and Jamie, please email me with your mailing addresses, so I can send out your books!
On a less happy note, my father-in-law, who has been battling cancer for many years, was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday with a life-threatening sepsis infection. He’s currently in the ICU, and though his condition has improved, his prognosis is still unclear. My husband is flying to Florida this afternoon to see him, and provided that his Dad continues to get better, he plans to return on Saturday.
I’ve always said that I have the greatest respect for single parents, and the spouses of military service men and women, and anyone else who must handle the day-to-day of raising children alone. It’s exhausting, even for one day, so I can imagine that the next 4 days will be quite an adventure.
This will be the longest my husband and I have been apart in 9 years. It’s rare for us to spend even one night apart, but I really do want him to be with his parents right now. Even so….I sure am going to miss him.
If you think if it, please include all of us in your prayers this week. And if you have any helpful hints for a temporarily single parent, I’m all ears!
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Heather, I have a wonderful husband who loves to hunt. Therefore, I am a temporary single parent quite often during hunting season. My best advice is to decide what’s most important and/or critical, and choose to not to worry about the other stuff. The house doesn’t have to be perfect. The laundry can be folded later. And if I need to go get fast food for dinner or make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just this once, that’s okay too. And if the kids are driving you crazy, a little bribery is ok every once in a while.
. Just take deep breaths, say a little prayer, and remember everything will be back to normal soon. If that doesn’t work, there’s always chocolate!
Oh girl, I hear you! My husband is six plus months into another Navy deployment, and we have a son that’s DJ’s age. I can only imagine how things get more complicated/exhausting when you add more kiddos to the mix, but trust me- you will do great! When my husband is gone one thing that I do is to either work through nap time or after bedtime, but not both. I’ve noticed that i just get too run down if I don’t take some down time for myself during the day. It may mean that sometimes the laundry may get put off until tomorrow or that dinner is leftovers from the freezer, but I am a happier person and a better mom is i get that rest time in. I’ll keep your father in law and your family in my prayers!
-another Heather
Don’t give up hope. My mom, who has had cancer twice, almost died of sepsis. She was given 48 hours and all the family was called in. They were unable to give her a particular med that would really help, due to the blood thinners she had been on. But she pulled through, had to stay in a nursing home for a little while and then was able to go back home. That was many years ago. Praise God for blessing us.
My husband is gone for 2 conferences a year, each being gone for 3 days/2 nights. My advice, keep busy and find something fun for you and the kids to do at least one night (supper out, a trip to a store, meet up with another mom and kids to play). It’ll make you feel like you get to have an adventure, too, and not just be stuck at home Plus, this time of year, the Christmas shows are on tv so make sure to have fun watching those with the kids. Good luck and prayers to your family.
Be easy on yourself. If you can’t keep up with everything, that’s okay. I think it always helps if I do a little rewarding for myself. A movie, a good book..something you don’t normally do.
I will be praying for your father in law. My husband works out of town A LOT. Sometimes for a few days sometimes for a few weeks and it is always hard on everyone including him! A few things that help are,early bed times for everyone,we skype every evening after
So sorry to hear about you Father-in-law. We recently went through a similar situation in my family… DH’s Grandfather was terminally ill so he drove to TX for 3 days when I was 7+ months pregnant, tending my 2 1/2 year old, and house training a stubborn puppy mid-winter. It certainly takes patience, endurance and tons of love and understanding. I’ll add you all to my prayers.
Heather, I am praying for safe travel for your husband, healing for your Father-in-Law and peace for you while your husband is gone.
I will say a prayer for your father-in-law. Cancer is such a scary disease. My friend’s 21 month old little girl started her sixth round of chemotherapy today…..
I will also say a prayer for your husband that he has a safe return home from Florida and I will say a prayer for you that you stay sane during the next few days of being a “temporary single parent”!
Wishing your DH a safe flight and much comfort and healing for your father-in-law.
Also, try to do something nice for yourself everyday – it really will help.
For you, my friend, I recommend SLEEP! Second, do you have enough coffee in the house? This is NOT the time to run out.
Love and prayers to all of you,
Kim
Oh Heather you are all in my prayers!!
My husband has been deployed for 6 months and with two little ones (7 and 2) and a full-time job (I’m a HS teacher) it can get crazy. My biggest tip is to stick to a bedtime for yourself. It’s easy to stay up late doing odd jobs or just watching TV because you don’t want to sleep along. That makes for a super tired and cranky Mom the next day.
I’ll be praying for you and your family this week. Just sing “God Will Take Care of You” to yourself when you’re feeling stressed or down — it’s a wonderful reminder that He is always there.
Praying! My husband is in the middle of a six week business trip to India and we have three children three and under! He is a very hands on dad so I am feeling his absence quite considerably. Enjoy your kids more – that’s what I’ve been doing. We haven’t gotten dressed a few days and just play together! With God’s strength you’ll be alright!
I’m going to echo what a lot of moms have said – make sure you get enough sleep! We go through stints where it seems like every time we turn around my husband has to be gone for overnights. We’ve done MANY week-long stints without him. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but life doesn’t change all that much when he is gone. He is a fantastic dad and each of our two kids feel very loved and doted on, but the main running of the house and family is done by me.
One thing I have always done when Daddy is gone is to let the kids sleep with me one night. We call it a sleep-over. We went through a time where my husband was gone for a week each month for three months. In the fourth month the kids were asking Daddy when he was going on another trip so they could have a sleep-over with Mom. Kind of silly how much they loved something so simple. We would just pick a NON school night and dig out the sleeping bags. One kid would sleep with me and the other got the sleeping bag on the floor. We’d turn out all the lights and fall asleep to a movie.
On the other nights, we move bedtime up a half an hour. The kids are old enough now that they can use the extra time in their beds to read. I just need that extra time ALONE when hubby is gone.
I also just stress how important it is that we are a FAMILY and that we all need to work together and give-up a little while Daddy is gone. The kids seem to step-up to the plate and really do help out and don’t get upset if something is a little crazy or we miss a step.
You have my prayers as well in this time! We walked through a similar time six years ago. God does give the strength and grace you need – he is ALWAYS a very present help in trouble!
So sorry to hear about your father in law
Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. My husband has gone on a few business trips for a week at a time and even though I only have one child I felt his absence in the kid department. My advice would be to just enjoy the alone time with your kids. Luckily your two oldest got to school during the day so you only have the one at home all day. Just take it one day at a time, take deep breaths and try to stay positive!!!
It’s never easy when your partner is away. I have survived through two year-long deployments and many week-long trips with the military. The other ladies have given great advice and I will repeat that you definitely need to relax on the housework/projects, have a fun and unexpected thing to do with the kids (we have a “hotel night” where we bring the tv in the bedroom and watch a movie and sleep together), and even if necessary, take a nap with the little one. It’s amazing how stressful doing morning and evening routines alone can be. And sometimes the kids just need to hear that you need their help and you miss daddy too. Just keep asking God for strength and peace and He’ll carry you through this. I will be praying for you and your husband and his dad.
So sorry to hear about your father-in-law. My grandma passed away from sepsis almost two months ago. The hospital may tell him that antibiotics are an invasive method, but if the family is okay with it, give them. They should prolong his life (they gave my gma a few extra months). Also, one of the best things I did was to not wear the gown/mask, even though it was highly encouraged. The rest of my family didn’t either–I got to say goodbye to her normally, and not all gowned up.
Examine your to-do list and see if there is something you can have Bee do. She will get such a boost from helping mom! Also, and this was hardest for me when I was a single mom, accept help when it’s offered!
I’m praying for you all.
My husband was gone for 6 weeks right after I started my college semester and the only way I survived was Skype. My daughter missed her daddy so much that she was crankier in the evenings. But one of the best part about your spouses being gone is the joy you get when they come back. I’ll certainly keep your family in our prayers.
Praying for your family! I’m sure your husband is hating being away, too! Love all the tips! My husband is gone quite a bit, too. I have a 6 and 3 year old and 3 month old. We have had lots of days in PJS, sometimes too much DVD watching (desperate times!!), easy meals (wash off same plates or use disposable), something extra planned each day (at home or out) that may or may not get done- just helps to have something to look forward to. I have a friend who always gets a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream tub and a movie for herself to enjoy one night after kids are in bed when her man is gone. :-) Big chores can wait (you have a plan for major mess recovery anyway, right??). We are getting used to it so the schedule is not affected as much as it used to be. Blessing to you all!
Heather, I’m praying for your family. I don’t really have any advice but this: When the times seem difficult stop, breath and look for all those little things that light your day: your home, a cup of coffee, your kids laughing…just take it easy, do what you can. Tomorrow will be another day. And don’t forget that God always go before us