100 Random Facts About Me

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A while back, my husband informed me, “a lot of people don’t ‘get’ you” (translation: he doesn’t get me).

He thinks that some people (him) find me complicated and difficult to understand. I think that I’m an open book, and I argued that my blog wouldn’t be successful if I was so difficult to relate to. This blog is proof that at least 750 people in the world do, in fact, “get” me.

I think that the real issue here is that men never really understand women, and vice versa. Although, I believe that I understand my husband very, very well, after 11 years together. I usually can tell exactly what he’s thinking just by the expression on his face. For example, on Saturday we stopped at a garage sale. It didn’t look promising, but my husband wanted to look around, so the kids and I stayed in the van. When I saw him come out of the garage, I turned to the girls and said, “I’ll bet you anything he’s going to ask me to come look at something.” Sure enough, he wanted me to see a pair of snowboots that he thought were a good deal. I was expecting this because of the purposeful look on his face as he walked toward the van.

I rest my case.

In general, I think that men are simpler creatures than we are, and I will admit that I have my share of quirks and oddities, but who doesn’t? Really, our quirks are what make us unique.

Just for fun, I wrote down a list of 100 random facts about myself, mainly because I’m too tired after the weekend to come up with a more informative or educational post. So, if there are still some of you who don’t “get” me, maybe this will help:

1. The trumpet at the end of the closing credits on The Office? I can’t stand it. I mute the TV so I don’t have to listen to it.
2. When I was in first grade, I wanted to be a nun because I adored my teacher, Sister Mary Beth, so very much.
3. I can’t tolerate amusement park rides at all. Even the ferris wheel makes me barf.
4. Empty hangers in a closet bother me. Especially wire ones. I don’t know why.
5. When I was little, I prayed every night for my baby dolls to turn into real babies. I would run and check my doll bed every morning, and I was always disappointed.
6. I have exceptionally long fingers and toes. Kind of like a monkey.
7. I think fart noises are really funny. Apparently, I have an 8-year-old boy living inside me.
8. I have a thing about flossing. I have to floss every single night before I go to bed. Sometimes, if I’m really tired, I’ll contemplate skipping it, but I just can’t. It’s a compulsion.
9. I very carefully shave calluses off my heels with a single-edge razor blade. I learned this from my husband, and it used to really freak me out, but it works better than anything else I’ve ever tried, and requires almost no effort. I have incredibly smooth feet now.
10. When I can’t fall asleep, I imagine the most horrific scenarios I can think of, and try to work out how I would handle them. For example, my baby is in the street and a car is barreling toward him! My heart will start racing, and I’ll imagine myself running at lightning speed to grab him just in time. I hate this. I wish I could stop doing it, but I can’t seem to control it.
11. I used to swear all the time. I was particularly fond of the F-word. I quit when I had children, and now I only swear when I’m really, really angry, and then only under my breath. I can’t even watch movies with lots of swearing because I find them offensive.
12. I have never broken a bone, and I still have my tonsils and appendix.
13. I don’t watch horror movies, and I don’t allow them, or anything remotely occultic, in my house. I was really angry and upset when our neighbor invited then 7-year-old Bee to have a sleepover with her 5-year-old daughter, and they played, unsupervised, with a Ouiga board. Bee didn’t know what it was, and it really scared her.
14. Bee isn’t allowed to play with the neighbor girl anymore.
15. I’m honest and direct. Some people find this off-putting.
16. I make no apologies for it.
17. I cannot stand butt kissing. I could never work in any profession that required me to suck up to people.
18. I love, love, love “period” movies. Sense and Sensibility is my favorite. I bet I’ve watched it at least 50 times.
19. I hate reality television, with one exception. My husband and I are addicted to Hoarders. It’s oddly fascinating.
20. I’m a speed reader. I scan blocks of text instead of reading each individual line. I’ve always been able to do this, ever since I was a kid.
21. I love the smell of gasoline and exhaust, because it reminds me of my husband.
22. I saved baby wash bottles from when the girls were babies. There’s just a little bit in the bottom of each one, and sometimes I dig them out so I can smell them.
23. The smell of new, wood furniture makes me sick.
24. With each of my pregnancies, I had mad cravings for milk. I drank several gallons every week.
25. I used to hate my name. In junior high, I wanted to be called Shawna.
26. I like my name now, especially the way my husband says it. He’s the only person who calls me Heather Lynn.
27. My little brother always called me “Hezzie.” My aunt and cousins still call me that.
28. When I was born, our elderly neighbor, who was hard of hearing, thought my name was “Hester.” He told my parents, “That’s a terrible name for a little girl!” I told my husband this, and now he calls me Hester just to tease me. I should never tell him anything.
29. When I was a tiny toddler, I could recite commercials from memory. When my parents took me to the store, I would point to a product on the shelf and say, “Downy – spwingtime fwesh!” or “Dextromethorphan – weed the wable!” Apparently, people really got a kick out of it. One guy would give me a quarter, and say to my Dad, “Get her to talk!”
30. In junior high, I was a cheerleader, and I was terrible. I’m not naturally peppy, and I can’t stand sports. I tried out because my mother wanted me to, and I only made the squad because I could do the splits.
31. I’m a really good dancer.
32. Which is surprising, because I’m not athletic in the least.
33. I’m a klutz. My mother used to say that I could trip over the color change in the carpet. This was back in the days of multi-colored shag (which my husband refers to as “oil-change” carpet).
34. I’m also really good at skating, but I don’t do it much anymore because my ankles are very weak from being sprained over and over again (see #33).
35. I hate competition.
36. I’m not naturally organized. I have the ability to organize, but I have to really work at it, every day.
37. I’m not a go-getter. I’m actually kind of lazy, I think.
38. I’m easy to please. I don’t need much to be happy.
39. In my marriage relationship, however, I’m high-maintenance. I expect my husband to make me his first priority, because he is mine.
40. I think that’s how it should be.
41. I’m not a “joiner.” I have no interest in belonging to groups or clubs.
42. I think that Donald Trump is a complete jackass. I hope that he runs for president just so I can watch him get knocked down a few pegs.
43. I consider myself to be a minimalist. I’m always getting rid of stuff.
44. My husband calls me a “stuff-o-phobic.”
45. Having three children is not minimalistic behavior. But it’s fun.
46. I always let my kids buy stuff at garage sales because it makes them happy. I’m kind of a pushover, in that respect.
47. When certain “Christian” bloggers write about how people who go through IVF are sick and twisted, it really hurts me. Even though I know better.
48. I shouldn’t even read these blogs, but I’m a glutton for punishment, I guess.
49. I don’t care about outward appearances, and I don’t believe in putting on airs.
50. I think that wastefulness and excess are abhorrent, disgraceful, and selfish.
51. If I really like a book or TV show, I can read/watch it over and over, a million times, and never get tired of it.
52. Where my diet is concerned, I must have lots of variety. I rarely make the same thing for dinner, twice in one month.
53. People think I’m hilarious, even when I’m not trying to be. Sometimes this makes me mad, because I feel like no one takes me seriously.
54. I wanted to play the flute in elementary school. I ended up playing the clarinet because my teacher said my fingertips were “too big.”
55. The art teacher at my high school had a creepy obsession with me. He used to stare at me all the time, and follow me around. He even drew my portrait and displayed it in the trophy case. At the time, I just thought he was a dork, but now I’m wondering why I didn’t report him?
56. I attract freaks and weirdos.
57. Whenever I say this, my husband says, “Gee, thanks.”
58. I’m a natural mimic. It’s very easy for me to pick up accents.
59. I wish I was British. I have fantasies about moving to the English countryside.
60. I really like Colin Firth. This makes my husband jealous, but he won’t admit it.
61. He forgets that he’s even more handsome than Colin Firth – he just doesn’t have the intriguing accent.
62. My husband is not good at accents. He always sounds like Apu from The Simpsons.
63. I have a weakness for men in uniform. Especially older men.
64. I was nominated for “Miss Congeniality” in 7th grade. I lost to Kristen Pickar.
65. I almost never win anything.
66. I don’t want to live to age 100.
67. I want to die before I get to the point where someone has to help me go to the bathroom.
68. I’m terrified of nursing homes. I never, ever want to be in one.
69. I’m quite independent. I don’t like to rely on anyone, because I find that people are generally unreliable.
70. Losing my husband is my greatest fear. Whenever he drives away, I say a little prayer for God to keep him safe.
71. Losing one of my children is my other greatest fear.
72. I’m also scared of drowning, and I hate small spaces.
73. I love all things pickled.
74. My favorite potato chip is salt and vinegar.
75. I like meat to be overdone – almost burned.
76. I hate mushrooms and raw tomatoes.
77. Organ meats and shellfish totally disgust me.
78. I used to hate spicy food, but now I love it.
79. I love raw onions, but I always order my hamburgers without them, in case my husband wants to kiss me.
80. Too much garlic gives me a stomachache.
81. If food is supposed to be hot, I want it to be really hot.
82. I also like cold drinks to be icy cold.
83. I am not a wishy-washy person.
84. I can’t stand Japanese anime. It’s just so….weird. My kids love Ponyo, but I just sit there going, “Huh? Why does Ponyo’s father look like a drag queen? And why does no one notice that Ponyo is a fish with a human face? And what’s all this about ham?”
85. I’ve never seen any of the Harry Potter or Twilight movies, and I don’t plan to.
86. I refuse to watch Real Housewives of anything, Jersey ShoreMob Wives, or any other show of this ilk. This kind of programming makes me feel like the whole world is made up of vulgar, shallow idiots.
87. My husband knows this, so he purposely turns these shows on so that he can watch the steam come out of my ears.
88. I think my nose is my worst facial feature. I swear it gets bigger every year.
89. My husband says it doesn’t. He thinks I’m crazy.
90. I like my eyelashes. They’re very long and straight.
91. I’m a big baby about heat. I couldn’t survive without air conditioning.
92. I’m not politically conservative. I don’t align myself with any political party, and I’m quite moderate in my political views. I am, however, anti-abortion.
93. I hate politics. I especially hate arguing about politics, and listening to people rant about politics.
94. I’m a procrastinator of the worst kind.
95. I love writing this blog, but when comments are way down (as they have been lately), I always consider quitting.
96. I worry that no one has anything to say because I’ve become boring.
97. I have an extensive vocabulary because I read so much. A reader sent me an e-mail to complain that she needs a dictionary to read my blog, because I use words like “gobsmacked” and “ambulatory” and she doesn’t know what they mean.
98. I LOVE words.
99. If you’re a lurker, I wish you would come out of hiding.
100. Sometimes I feel like I’m blogging to no one, and it discourages me.

You might also like:

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Stuff You Don’t Need to Know About Me, But I’m Going to Tell You Anyway

 

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24 comments… add one

  1. Ashley November 30, 2011, 5:54 pm

    Loved this.  So much fun!

    Reply
  2. A. Rose January 3, 2012, 8:41 pm

    No point in reading the rest after I read #1.  I always try to turn it off before the “bad robot”.  lol!  Gotta go clean something!

    Reply
  3. A. Rose January 3, 2012, 8:46 pm

    ah!  you caught me not cleaning; but reading.  (warning! a bit gross): #18 – My husband usually asks this question when he catches me watching any chick-flick: “Are you watching one of those menstruation movies again?!”  He knows I love “period” films.

    Reply
  4. A. Rose January 3, 2012, 8:53 pm

    I’m on #58 now – I get this!  Here’s why: I worked with a lady from Oklahoma with a thick accent.  When I started saying certain words like her w/out really realizing it; another co-worker kind of called me out on it.  It was really embarrassing.  I think everyone just thought I was a weirdo for talking like the OK girl.  whoops.  I pay more attention to my accent now.  Sad right?

    Reply
  5. Misaward January 8, 2012, 3:55 am

    Hi ! I love your blog and look forward to your posts.

    Reply
  6. Leslie Taylor February 2, 2012, 7:59 am

    I’ve been a lurker for a while now.  I know I’m super late commenting on this post, but I was just browsing your older entries and came across this.  It caught my attention because I’m a definite list maker.  I’m actually currently (well, until I got distracted reading your blog :P) working on something called the Day Zero Project, where you come up with a list of 101 goals you want to accomplish in the next 1,001 days.  One of my goals is to make a list just like this of facts about me for my blog.  :)

    Also, number 88 made me giggle.  I heard somewhere that your ears and nose never stop growing.  Kinda like your nails and hair, only not as fast.  Let’s hope that’s not the case!

    Reply
  7. Nperry March 7, 2012, 9:09 pm

    Don’t get discouraged. I have been reading for the past hour and I love your tips, especially your “Recipe for Baby Wipes”. Keep it up!

    Reply
  8. Habh07 March 22, 2012, 1:55 am

    LOL! Knew to the blog. Finally someone who is not afraid to be THEMSELVES!

    Reply
  9. Lindsey Stillwell March 24, 2012, 3:22 am

    I just now stumbled upon your blog and I love it. I quoted you in my own blog http://www.lifeofthrees.wordpress.com and think that your point of view is worth sharing even if only one person reads and nobody answers (such as with my boring blog). Keep it up!

    Reply
  10. Dalia Licea March 26, 2012, 6:06 pm

    I guess I’m one of those “lurkers”…lol….I’ve actually skimmed through your blog a few times for quite a while now….mostly to get the information about “the guide” and your daily schedule and things like that.  Actually it was probably about a year ago when I first stumbled across your blog and I think today is the first time I have posted comments.  Keep up the good work.  You probably have many more “lurkers” out there who really value the information you put out but don’t know what to say about it.  :)

    Reply
  11. Angie in Ohio April 27, 2012, 2:13 pm

    I’m sorry I’ve been a lurker; I just read this post today, and I know you wrote it quite a while ago, but I wanted to comment anyway (because of #95, 96, 99, & 100 on your list). I absolutely adore your blog and have been visiting everyday since I found it (which is about 2 months now). I am in the middle of making my HMG, and although I am a widow with no children still living, the methods you’ve come up with to manage your home work beautifully with very little adjustment to fit in with my own lifestyle.

    I love your wordiness, your willingness to show the messy side of your life as well as the successfully organized side, and your very pragmatic and real-human-being style outlook on life and faith. You have inspired me and I just wanted to thank you and I pray you keep it up.

    Reply
  12. Rachel July 12, 2012, 5:10 pm

    Hello!
    I recently married, and am not yet a stay at home mom but hoping to be in a few years.  :)   I like all of your suggestions for organizing, and I especially love the toy library idea because I too love to read, and the idea of a library of books AND a library of toys was too good to pass up.  I also saw that you liked comments and so I wanted to comment and say to please keep writing, because it is extremely helpful and I find you very relatable.  So thank you for your ideas! 

    Reply
  13. Pita Flores September 1, 2012, 11:40 pm

    I really wish you were my next door neighbor! I laughed about 75 times out loud reading your 100 random facts. Thanks for being an inspiration to others. I am your new biggest fan! God bless. -Jacklyn S. Bellevue, NE

    Reply
  14. Pita Flores September 1, 2012, 11:41 pm

    P.S. I am a total lurker, but you are worth commenting for. :0)

    Reply
    1. heatherlynnie September 2, 2012, 12:12 am

      This comment just made my day :)

      Reply
  15. Karla December 8, 2012, 6:42 am

    Didn’t know I was a lurker until now! Just starting following your blog! I love it. Been reading for over an hour now! Keep em coming!

    Reply
  16. Michelle December 29, 2012, 7:14 am

    Just found your blog. So refreshing!

    Reply
  17. Ashley B January 2, 2013, 3:44 am

    I don’t usually read blogs, but stumbled on to this page while searching for daily schedules and planners. I’m a “soon to be” stay at home mom and trying to get organized. I started reading the post of 100 random facts about you and couldn’t believe that about 90 items could’ve come straight out of my mouth as well. Kind of cool to find a complete stranger that you seem to have a lot in common with and can totally relate too! I’m really enjoying reading all your posts! Thanks for all the great info!

    Reply
  18. Gabby May 2, 2013, 7:53 am

    I’m doing a project for my kids and had to come up with random facts about myself. But I got stuck, so I googled it and ended up here. And I loved it! Totally had me laughing, mostly because I totally agree or am the same. Thanks for the list. It was so much fun to read. Now on to your other entries. ;)

    Reply
  19. Leesa May 30, 2013, 3:12 am

    Hi Heather! Googled “kids bathrooms before and afters’ and your kiddies bathroom came up! To be honest, I emailed the picture to my phone and showed my husband, as we are in the process of updating our kids, and I’m totally stealing your idea! I wish I knew the paint you used? Anyway, as I made my way from your kids bathroom transformation, I became more interested in other work in your home, as I am such a re-decorating nerd ;). One topic to the next and, so on and so forth I have read almost your whole blog! You should not be worried about being boring, I find you so interesting, humbling, positive, and uplifting! I can relate to you on so many levels! Anyhow, please keep blogging and I’m glad to have found your blog!

    Leesa

    Reply
    1. Heather May 30, 2013, 6:01 pm

      Leesa, the paint color is Behr (from Home Depot) “Blue Jewel.” I got the fish shower curtain, rug, and rings from Wal-Mart. Not expensive at all. Good luck with your remodel, and thanks for reading!

      Reply
  20. Sally June 5, 2013, 2:17 am

    Don’t quit blogging!
    I’ve been contemplating leaving my full-time career to be a full-time mom and your stories and honest advice have not only inspired me but given me the strength and confidence I needed to feel like I can do it and don’t need to be perfect at it.
    Thanks Heather for the inspiration!

    Sally

    Reply
  21. Kari August 12, 2013, 8:14 pm

    Your ears and nose never stop growing, so you’re probably right. About your nose being bigger, I mean. My grandma had nostrils so long that she could have put quarters up them. Yep, that’s what I have to look forward to. Awesome.

    Reply
  22. Thomas June 11, 2014, 3:28 pm

    Thanks that was fun to read – I have to write facts about me for work and for some strange reason I thought reading yours might help me. It turns out you’re not my clone so it didn’t help but it was very interesting. By the way I live in the British countryside and it is amazing. My village has a calm and beautiful stream running through it, a lovely open green park with a free tennis court and a lovely school. When I cut my grass and go inside, I watch all the birds flock to the grass to eat all the bugs that I’ve let come to surface when I cut. Me and my daughter just sit at the window watching with amazingment, bird book in hand – you’d love it here, so idyllic!

    Reply

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