Get up and eat breakfast. As soon as you’re released from your high chair, proceed immediately to the Tupperware cabinet.
Listen to Mom say, “No! No, Mister!” again. Why does she always call you that? Doesn’t she know your name is DJ?
Endure the indignity of a diaper and clothing change. While Mom is putting away some laundry, help yourself to a snack.
Endure clothing change #2.
Play for awhile with your favorite toys – the extract bottles and corn syrup. Listen with barely suppressed amusement as your mother lectures you about not taking stuff out of the cabinets.
Decide she’s overreacting. Probably she doesn’t really mean it…
When your mother chases you out of the kitchen, dump out a whole bunch of toys. Promptly lose interest.
Pass some time by putting various objects inside a mixing bowl and taking them out again.
Chat on the phone for a bit.
Get really mad because your mother won’t let you fling yourself down the basement stairs. Why does she always treat you like a baby?!
Bother the cat for awhile.
When he gets annoyed and tries to bite you, lurch down the hall to pester your sisters instead.
Enjoy some sister cuddles.
Being really, really cute has its advantages.
Go for a joy ride!
Take all the combs and brushes out of the bathroom drawer. Good grooming is important to you. You want to look your best for the ladies.
Decide playing in the toilet is more fun than doing your hair.
When your mom chases you out of the bathroom, proceed to the living room and take all the videos out of the cabinet.
You don’t need to put them back though. That’s what Mom is for.
Check your e-mail and Facebook.
Get really mad again when Mom tries to impose limits on your computer time. You NEED to check Facebook! What is her problem?!
Do some paperwork. For some reason this annoys Mom too. Man, she should be grateful for all of your help! Women. You can’t live with ’em, and you can’t….well, you know.
Take some time out of your busy schedule to give Mom some sugar.
It’s hard being so charming and adorable, but someone’s got to do it.[print-me/]