The Decision

 Posted by on January 20, 2010  Add comments  Tagged with: ,
Jan 202010

We will not be giving birth at home.

Because of the baby’s size, and concerns about possible uterine rupture and/or hemorrhage, the doctor has adamantly insisted that I’m not a candidate for home birth, and Kathy, who shares these concerns, understandably doesn’t feel comfortable going against the doctor’s advice. She feels that we would be safer in a clinical environment for delivery, but our plan is for me to labor at home as long as possible, to avoid unnecessary medical intervention. Also, we’re not planning on spending two full days in the hospital – we’ll come home as soon as possible, provided that both the baby and I are stable and healthy (just as we would if we gave birth in a freestanding birth center). We’re going to try to make this birth experience as close as possible to what we wanted and planned for.

This afternoon I pre-registered with the hospital where Cakesie was born, and spoke with one of their financial counselors. My husband installed the infant car seat and cleaned out the van, and we’re working on packing a bag for the hospital…and not a moment too soon. I’ve been feeling period-crampy all afternoon, with low back pain, and I’ve also had a small amount of bloody show. Kathy thinks there is a good possibility that I’ll be in labor within 24 hours. I so hope she’s right.

I’m trying to just take this decision in stride, because I understand that Kathy and the doctor both have our best interests in mind. I’m sad and disappointed, but this situation is out of my control. I’m leaving everything in God’s hands, because this child belongs to Him, and his plans are better than mine. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t feeling horribly let down right now, but when I hold my healthy, fat little boy for the first time, I’ll probably forget all about my disappointment.

I’m left wondering what in the world I’m going to do with a birth pool liner, baby footprinter, and all the other supplies we bought. I’m especially sad about the tiny “I’m special – I was born at home” t-shirt that I bought for DJ. But as my husband said, he’s such a chunker that he probably wouldn’t fit into it anyway.


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