I’m Not That Kind of Mom
The daily school drop-off and pick-up has been a real revelation to me. I’ve discovered that there are Moms who get up early enough to actually take a shower, presumably before their kids are awake. They arrive at school in full regalia – make-up applied (correctly, even!), hair nicely coiffed, clothes clean, unwrinkled, and even stylish!
I’m not that kind of Mom. No.
I’m the kind of Mom who gets up early enough to check my blog comments, and cut my kid’s lunch sandwich into a cute little shape with a cookie cutter. I might even write her a note with a sticker on it, as a surprise.
I will spend a half hour picking out an adorable outfit for her, and doing her hair up in tidy braids with darling little hair ornaments stuck in them. My own hair will remain a tangled nest of snarls, because I’ll forget to comb it.
I will leave the house with zero make-up on, wearing any clothes that I could find which were reasonably clean, and actually fit. We will show up at school with Bee looking like the Queen of England, and me shuffling along beside her like a lowly servant girl.
When I go to pick her up, I will forget that Cakes wiped her green booger-nose on my sleeve, and I spilled spaghetti sauce down the front of my shirt at lunch time. My hair will probably still be uncombed, and I will probably smell like bleach or toilet cleaner…or worse. Inevitably, I will end up waiting next to one of the beautiful Moms, who looks like some kind of exotic, perfumed bird. I will glance down at her perfectly pedicured feet, and wish that I had worn closed-toe shoes, because my toenails have a conspicuous layer of dirt wedged under them from walking barefoot in the garden.
I have come to accept that I am just a slobby mom. A SLOM, if you will. Since having my children, things like clothes and make-up and, well, appearances in general, just don’t really matter all that much to me. I always want my kids to look pretty and well-kempt, and I really admire those Moms who do take pride in their appearance, but even if I did manage to drag myself out of bed an hour early, I still wouldn’t dress up just to take my kids to school. What would be the point? I would just have to come back home, take off my nice clothes, and clean up the house like I always do. It seems like a waste of energy to me, and the truth of the matter is…I just don’t care. I’m not trying to impress anyone. My husband’s opinion is the only one I care about, and he likes my, erm…natural look. In fact, he seems to be ridiculously, insanely attracted to me. I’m not sure I want to attract him more.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be an embarrassment to my children (though I probably already am). I don’t want to have some freakishly-weird feature, like a beard, or a uni-brow, or a giant wart on the end of my nose, but in general, I don’t care what people think about my appearance. Aside from the size of my butt, I’ve learned to accept myself just as God made me. I figure He knows what He’s doing, and I can’t really improve on His work.
That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. Please don’t burst my bubble.
So, I will continue to show up at school in my slob clothes and bird’s nest hair. I might not be one of the beautiful Moms…but I like to think that I have more fun.