Now that you’re a big, grown-up girl who can read, I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you how much I love you.
You are my first child, and you have a very special place in my heart. I will never forget the moment when I first saw your little heart beating away on the ultrasound screen. I have never felt such awe, excitement and happiness as I did at that moment.
When the nurse put you in my arms for the first time, I wasn’t sure what to do with you. I had never been a mother before, so I was very worried about making mistakes. I wanted to be the perfect Mom for you. I know that I haven’t always succeeded, but I’ve done my best, and we’ve figured things out together.
On the day before your first birthday, you decided that you weren’t interested in nursing anymore. I was sad because you were taking your first steps toward independence, and I didn’t want to let you go. Letting go isn’t always easy for Moms. Someday, when you have babies of your own, I’m sure you’ll understand.
When you were two years old, we moved to the house we live in now. We didn’t know anyone in the community, but you soon charmed everyone in town with your intelligence and your sunny disposition. No one knew our names, but everyone knew who you were. Everywhere we went, from the bank, to the post office, to the grocery store, someone would say to us, “You’re Hayley’s Mom and Dad, right?”
When you were three, you started preschool. I remember how quiet the house was without you. Since the day you were born, you have been my constant companion, and I really missed you. I worried about how you were doing, and I couldn’t wait to go pick you up. As expected, you did great, and made lots of friends. I had nothing to worry about.
Now, you’re going off to kindergarten. I almost can’t believe it. It will be very quiet here, and Cakesie and I will miss you very much, but we’re so excited for you! We know that you’re going to learn so much, and make lots of new friends, and have a great time.
I want you to know how very proud I am of you, and how special you are to me. You’re more important to me than anything in the whole world, and I would do anything for you. I know that there are times when I’m tired and frustrated, or maybe even a little bit mad. Being a mom is a hard job sometimes, but the years that I’ve spent at home with you have been some of the best years of my life. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Right now, I wish that I could go back and live them all over again.
Daddy and I always dreamed of having a family, but we knew that it might be hard for us. One night, I dreamed that I met a little girl. She had long, brown hair, and big, brown eyes, and she came up and put her hand in mine. When I asked her what her name was, she told me. She was you.
I love you to the moon and back Honey Bunny. You’re a terrific kid.